Under the Rocks and Stones

Hi there friends,A few columns ago I talked about anxiety, and a few tinyletters ago I said I’d write more about combatting it. While I realize that offhand “coming soon” comments aren’t binding contracts, I figured I’d fulfill that promise anyway—especially since a lot of us are feeling a bit nervous these days for any number of reasons. (I was going to link to some examples, but presumably you read the news.)It’s also timely because the monthlong period between late August and...yesterday is typically the busiest time of year for me professionally. A major component of my job is helping faculty members apply for research fellowships, and the deadlines for two of the biggest opportunities fall in mid-/late September. And if that wasn’t enough, I’m also responsible for editing a donor report that—for reasons that are largely coincidental but vaguely related to the overall arc of the academic calendar—is always due to the printer around the same time.Every year is like this, and every year I have to remind myself that I have the capacity to manage it all. But before the onslaught’s over, I have to deal with the late-night fixations that are the inevitable byproduct of a complicated, time-sensitive to-do list. At least for me.Occasionally this can actually be useful, as a form of productive rumination—I’ve done prepwork on writing projects and rehearsed presentations from the comfort of my bed. Sometimes I’ll even remember something important or have a flash of inspiration. Most of the time, though, it’s just a news-ticker of self-defeating nonsense, with headlines like That Email You Sent Was Probably Confusing.I try to banish these negative recursive thoughts, whether they’re work-related worries or meta-stresses about not getting enough sleep. But an anxious brain is tenacious. I’ve found that when I attempt to clear my head, I inevitably find a new preoccupation to focus on.My strategy is to distract myself instead, by concentrating on something positive: a catalog of my personal investments. (You can think of this as a form of prayer if you’re a prayer-type person, but it doesn’t have to be directed at a higher power.) I think about all the people I love and care about in the world, as though they’re a palmful of smooth river stones, and see who comes to mind most naturally—someone I haven’t talked to in a while, or someone who’s been having a hard time lately. Just as you’d turn a stone over in your hand, I contemplate my affection for that person from all angles, send prayerish good wishes for them out into the universe, and then move on to the next.It’s kind of an alternative take on sheep-counting, with the added benefit of emotional satisfaction. I usually end up drifting off to sleep after a few of these thought-cycles, and even if it takes longer, I’m never sorry that I spent time meditating on the people who are most meaningful to me.I realize that this is the second letter in a row that's veered into “cherish those you love” territory. That may seem like an odd choice for someone who’s ostensibly writing from a career-advice perspective, but doing the Dear Businesslady column has forced me to do some honest accounting about my own priorities. I’ve learned that I need to care about my work and the people I work with—which, fortunately, is the case with my current job—and I’ve learned that I need ample downtime or else I risk losing perspective. When you’re immersed in work, it’s easy to convince yourself that work is all there is. And then you start to think that stress is all there is. But there are also friends, and family, and good TV shows, and games, and fun. Everyone’s ideal work:play ratio is different, and I’m not here to dictate those proportions—I just want to emphasize how important it is to figure out the right balance.That idea is the impetus behind a workshop I’m doing in Chicago next month, through the UChicago Graham School, on techniques for pushing back when your job demands too much of you. I hate that there’s so much cultural messaging that suggests people should give as much energy as possible to their employers, leaving only the bare minimum in reserve for themselves. No one does their best work when they’re teetering on the edge of burnout! Yet I feel those same pressures too, even though I know better, and I’m looking forward to helping folks find ways to preserve their personal time. Please come if you’re in the area, and/or tell your Chicagoland friends—it’ll be fun, and it’s only $5.Of course, if your boss won’t listen to reason, you might just need to take your talents elsewhere. And my last two columns are about doing just that! The first is about job-searching in a new industry, and the second is about aligning your career with your long-term goals (featuring some tips on writing cover letters via an extended culinary metaphor).Your work/life balance can also get off-kilter due to the self-inflicted stress of procrastination. If what you really need is a jolt of motivation, here are some productivity tips from Is This Working? that were excerpted in Inc. One of those tips, paradoxically, is to give yourself permission to take real breaks.And on that note, I’m going to put on some Talking Heads and enjoy my hard-earned frivolity before the next onslaught of deadlines. ~court, AKA Businesslady CORRECTIONS! A Reliably Recurring SeriesIn my previous tinyletter I expressed my intention to “get another mini-missive out this month” and as you know full well, dear readers, I did not. (However, I did make good on my promise to “try”—I started a draft of this one back in late August, before I made my peace with being too overextended to finish it.) I also dropped my phone down an elevator shaft, which feels like the sort of thing I should mention here. (It’s fine, no I don’t understand how that’s possible, yes I am underserving of nice things.)PHOTO TIME!I’m not generally an “Instagram my lunch” kind of person (for reasons including but not limited to, I am not on Instagram) but this meal from my last work trip to Chicago was so pretty, I had no choice but to document it for posterity. It was tasty, too.